but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
