is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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