i was born a porn star she said
is wine microwaveable?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
