ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize