The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
