she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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