Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
