I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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