it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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