ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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