if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
