nut hugger
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I can text with my tongue
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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