I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
