Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
