her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
