If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize