Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
