piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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