She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
