I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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