i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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