Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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