I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize