The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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