It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
