The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
