Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
