peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
