You don't have asthma, your pregnant
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
