how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she told me i tasted like america
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
