I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no you cant smoke seaweed
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
