Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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