Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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