So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
