1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude i'm inner monologue high
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
