You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
