STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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