found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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