Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
