why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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