I CAN MOONWALK!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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