...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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