i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
