I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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