fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
