I think I died a long time ago.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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