My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
