I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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