Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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