we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
