Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
