i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
