Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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