i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
