It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize