He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
